Things are fine. Everything is fine. The Blue Jays are a great team and everything will work out.
One of the few bright spots for the Jays right now is Edwin Encarnacion. One more home run and he’ll reach 40 for the second time in his career. We all love seeing Double E bust out the Parrot, but the lil guy doesn’t have a name.
What would you name Edwin’s homerun parrot?
The parrot Edwin carries around the bases should be “little Jose Bautista” Not that Edwin is carrying Jose this year (though his numbers are much higher flying) but given Jose’s injuries this season that seems to be the safest place for him on the field. Simply put: parrots don’t get “turf toe”.
‘Macaw-ley Culkin’! For two reasons… 1) The parrot I’ve seen in those memes is clearly a Macaw, and everyone loves puns! 2) Macauley Culkin is best known for ‘Home Alone’, so the name comes with a request. I personally train Macaw-ley Culkin to sit on Edwin’s shoulder while he bats. When he hits a home-run, Macaw-ley Culkin will hover above home plate (Literally being left “Home Alone”) as Edwin runs the bases! Then, when Edwin returns home (Like Catherine O’Hara) , they’re reunited once again and the crowd goes wild! People love happy endings! Boom! Macaw-ley Culkin!
‘I think Edwin’s Parrot should be called ‘Suck it, I hit a homerun!’ I mean, it’s KIND of a long name, but it says EXACTLY what just happened. Putting the arm up says, ‘Suck it, I hit a homerun!’ so why not call the parrot that? People could buy little ‘Suck it, I hit a homerun!’s in the gift shop. The Jays could teach a REAL Parrot to say ‘Suck it, I hit a homerun!’ and play the sound bite in the Rogers Centre. ‘Suck it, I hit a homerun!’ Or Edwing. Either works.
As a bandwagon fan, I was very glad to see this question. Encarnacion is one of the names I recognize. I can talk about him with confidence. “Edwin hits home runs and then jogs around the bases with his arm out,” I will say. “We know that,” real fans will respond. “We watch all the games, so we know who hits home runs.” I don’t care, I’ve made my point. That’s why I beg you to please also name the parrot Edwin Encarnacion, otherwise I will surely forget its name and look like a real ass in front of everyone.
The parrot should be named Angel because Edwin is a Latino god on Earth; and the parrot guides the Latino man back home.
Parrots have a half-senile older relative’s tendency to repeat what people would sometimes like to keep silent. Other teams would love to silence Encarnacion’s spirit… BUT THEY NEVER WILL! In the face of his opponents, Edwin’s frequent home runs feel like the repetitive squawk of a bird spilling embarrassing family secrets. “Squawk! You’re gonna lose”. “Squawk! You’re past your prime”. “Squawk! Your wife is cheating on you”. So we should name the parrot Truth Bomb… Truth Bomb the parrot. Each base becomes a delicious cracker that feeds his hunger for more home runs.
All I know about parrots are 1, they live to be old and 2, they repeat things. So I think the parrot should be called “History” because it repeats itself, just like the parrot and history can be old just like a parrot.
Everyone loves alliteration so it’s gotta be Pablo. Pablo the Parrot. Pablo could become a full blown mascot of his own. Maybe even date Ace. They could be the first openly gay mascot couple in the major leagues. The happy pair could even have their own float at Toronto’s Pride Parade, blazing a trail for other closeted major league mascots. Plus a parrot’s feathers already look like a rainbow so he wouldn’t need to dress up. It makes too much sense.