As we all know, September 25 is Blue Jays Toque Day at the Dome where the first 20,000 fans will receive a free toque. It’s a nice change from another bobblehead giveaway. Nothing against bobblehead collectors but it might be time to change it up. Which leads us nicely to this week’s question…
If you were put in charge of the Blue Jays promotions, what would you give 20,000 fans?
I’d give away a game I just came up with right now! Are you ready for this? ‘Bat Flip Cup’! It’s exactly like flip cup but with a mini bat! The first 20,000 fans get a mini bat, a stack of red cups and some beer! I honestly don’t see an issue giving out that many bats and beers at a Jay’s game (unless everyone gets all Game 5 of the American League Division Series again). Oh and I’m patenting this shit, so if I start seeing ‘Bat Flip Cup’ around town, I’m suing so hard!
If I was ever in charge of promotions for the Jays, I would give out a box of commemorative Blue Jays condoms called Domes. Like the Sky Dome, you have to know when it’s safe to have the ‘roof’ open and when to cover up. Generally it’s always safer to cover up. The last thing you want, is to be in Central America partying and waking up one day in pain every time you water the bushes. Or worst case someone accuses of you of giving them a little too much of yourself and sues you for everything you’ve got.
I would love to give a way those tiny plastic baseball caps they used to have filled with ice cream. First of all who doesn’t want a cold scoop of heaven to start a game. Secondly those tiny hats are SOO silly! Anyone can make them funny, a tiny hat on a regular sized head is one of the funniest things. Plus it’s a fun little prop to take home with you and take a couple pics with it on the dogs head, or sleeping grandpa’s head.
You know, keep giving the first 20,000 fans hats and scarves and cups and bobble heads. Not worried about those guys. I want some OTHER people to get something. Like the people that come into the building in the 4th. I want THEM to get a watch, a slap in the face, and the guy ripping tickets going ‘do you even CARE about this? Why are you here? You can take a selfie anywhere you know.’
Due to the rich history of cooperation and mutual success between the Blue Jays organization and the Dominican Republic, lets have Dominican passport day. Everyone gets a replica Dominican passport that they can put a photo and type they’re name in. This will be a great time if for no other reason than keeping the U.S. custom officials on their toes when we send back a few thousand Americans sporting brand new Dominican passports. I think we’ll find that we’ve been vastly underestimating the whimsical sense of humour found in U.S. border agents.
Yooo check it, Imma straight up give away a pair of blue balls. Why blue balls you ask? Because, each pair will come with a letter from the owner saying “here, have my blue balls, cuz I ain’t fucking around anymore!!! -The Owner”
Thank you I’m here all week…ya bish!!!
The Blue Jays should salute their former roommates and give away 20,000 Argo jerseys. One lucky fans’ jersey will have a golden stitched tag and if that fan is you, you’re not only going to the next Argo home game… you’re playing. Three downs. Position of your choice. Ground transportation to and from BMO covered by the team’s Uber Pool! The Argos will legally own your drafting rights so make the most of your moment because hey, who knows?