Now that the Olympics are done, the Zika virus has become old news and playoff fever is where it’s at!
Jose Bautista’s bat flip will go down as one of the greatest moments in Toronto postseason history.
When Rogers inevitably puts together a made-for-TV movie about that seventh inning, who should play the role of Joey Bats?
This is even hard for me to write. I apologize for bringing these things up as we gear up for what is hopefully a long, successful playoff run… But Jose Bautista might not be a Blue Jay next year. With that being said, I think Jose could play himself. It would be nice to see him moonlight as an actor. It could give him a great head start into an after baseball acting career. If Jose says no… The Rock. The biggest action hero in the world should play the Blue Jays biggest action hero… but only if Jose doesn’t want to do it.
As a side note… I think this kid should play little Jose. With the full beard paint. Does it make sense? No. Do we understand and love it? Absolutely. They will both win Emmys. Or whatever.
As a bandwagon fan, Bautista’s bat flip is one of my earliest Blue Jays memories. It was the moment when this proud nation decided “I will watch some Jays games now that they’re already in the playoffs and all my friends are into it.” The casting choice is crucial. They have to find someone who not only has a beard, but also has a shirt that says “Blue Jays” on it. That’s why it has to be Russell Martin. If he stops playing for a few years while he goes to acting school, so be it. This is too important.
I say we do the movie with an old Bautista talking about his younger days. For old Bautista, I’m going with the bad guy from Time Cop. He’s gotta be old now, and they have identical facial hair. For current Bautista I wanna see what Johnny Depp can do with this thing.
Matt Damon. If there’s anything Hollywood has taught us, it’s that basic looking white dudes with stern baby-faces are WAY better at playing ethnic characters than actual ethnic actors! Any big wig in film will also tell you that people only watch movies if they can easily spell the star’s name. Sorry Javier Bardem! Sure, Damon would pass more as Michael Saunders or even R.A. Dickey (if he let the flow grow) over hot-blooded Bautista… But do we really want to watch a movie where the star’s most exciting flashbacks are getting injured by stepping on a sprinkler & going to church?
Although he’s Filipino, I think Lou Diamond Phillips would be a great fit. And Jose’s ears should be played by the Olsen Twins.
After discussing this question for two hours and getting into a few heated arguments, we both finally came to a conclusion. We both think Drake should play him. They both have beards, they both like sports, they are both cool dudes and they both have arms. You just can’t cast this role with someone that doesn’t have arms, it wouldn’t feel right. Drake hasn’t acted in a while and we really think he would own this role. He could also provide the soundtrack for a decent price. We also think the movie should be called, “Home Runs and Woes.” Cheap Smokes will play the ball boys.
If Drake is busy, I think comedian Marito Lopez should play Jose Bautista. They’re both Latinos, they both have beards, and they both have great jaw lines. Marito is a bit smaller, however, so a smaller/cuter bat will have to be used for the bat flip. Latinos are the future.
You guys remember that sweet game ‘Devil’s Sticks’? Only the coolest kids brought those to school, and boy were they great at flipping sticks! I say we hold a Toronto-wide Devil’s Sticks competition, and whoever wins… Gets to play Bautista! I don’t care what he (or she) looks like! We just need that bat flip to look amazing! Let’s be honest, the rest of the movie will be complete trash, but as long as that flip is bad-ass, audiences all over Toronto will look past the casting choice of a white boy with dreadlocks, and go bat shit crazy!!!
Richard Karn would destroy the role. His beard game is next level and he played Patrick in the straight to VHS classic Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, so he knows his way around a ball diamond. Plus, right after he chucks the bat he can point at Sam Dyson (played by Louis CK) and say, “I don’t think so Tim!” as a nod to his Al Borland days.